Some random Oscar reactions, in no real order and probably little or no actual logic or thought involved.

If nothing else, I’m honest.

  • I hear some people online are already proclaiming John Stewart “Worst. Host. Ever!,” but that’s the inter-ma-net for you. I thought he did a pretty good job, myself. He may have been a little nervous at first, and not every joke worked, but even Hope and Carson bombed once in a while, folks. Not as energetic as Chris Rock, or as clever as Steve Martin, but Stewart’s always been a pretty low-key comedian, so I pretty much expected that. Just so long as Whoopi never comes back, I’ll be happy.

  • I’ve always found Rachel Weisz to be pretty sigh inducing (those eyes, that accent, that cute little nose – sigh…) but she looked even more absolutely amazing than ever. That thing about pregnant women being especially radiant? It ain’t no lie, bucko. And, if I may travel into “stereotypical male” mode for a minute here, great googly moogly, looks like someone’s already got their “mommy boobs!” My sweet lord, how does she carry those things around… was that some sort of load-bearing dress? Oh yeah, I was glad she won, too.

  • Heh. In his fake acceptance speech, Tom Hanks thanked Hooch. That’s so amazingly awesome.

  • George Clooney – pretty much the Total Package – Hollywood Edition, huh? Charm, looks, talent, sense of humor, humility… this is why just about every woman on the planet (and, if truth be told, probably most of the men) would have sex with this man in a heartbeat. Plus, it makes me happy that there’s someone on this planet who can put “Oscar winner – Syriana” and “Zany Best Friend role – Return of the Killer Tomatoes” on the same resume.

  • I have yet to see the Wallace and Gromit movie, but I’m glad Nick Park picked up the win for this since I’ve enjoyed all of the other W&G shorts and Creature Comforts. It’s funny, though… seeing Helena Bonham Carter quickly jump up to congratulate Park and then turn and say something to Tim Burton, I can only imagine that she whispered something along the lines of “That’s it, Tim, we’re through. I’m gonna go break up his marriage now!” See, it’s funny, because Helena Bonham Carter is a homewrecking tramp!

  • I have no interest in Chicken Little, but the Joan Cusack-voiced character’s political speech about pants inequality at Disney? That was pretty damn funny.

  • Anyone else out there who would like to see – even just once – Ben Stiller come out on stage and just drop the shtick? You’re a funny guy Ben, but the constant pandering, it’s cheap. Even Jerry Lewis reins it in sometimes.

  • Speaking of which, next year, how about a lifetime achievement award for Jer? Considering his achievements on both sides of the camera, he’s more than earned it. And I’d like to see him get one while he’s still alive to receive it. Good choice on Robert Altman this year, though. I haven’t seen nearly enough of his films. (And, for the record, I actually kind of liked Popeye)

  • I can’t say I cared much for the Three 6 Mafia song (I was kind of pulling for Dolly, myself, but honestly, these were the three best songs from movies all year? I doubt that the pickings were that slim.), but I won’t begrudge them their enthusiasm for winning. It’s refreshing to see people at the Oscars completely ignore the whole “Hollywood cool” thing and actually be all “Holy shit!” about winning. Now if only I could’ve understood a single word that any of them said in their acceptance speech ; I think one of ‘em thanked Jesus, but everything else was pretty mumbly. Randy Newman has truly broken down the Oscar barrier for musicians who enunciate poorly.

  • I have no real problems with Crash beating out Brokeback Mountain for Best Picture. I think Brokeback was the better film, but Crash had the all-important Big Powerful Lesson that the Academy seems to love so much. Plus, Oprah loved it, and she pretty much runs the world now, right? Isn’t that why that asshat Dr. Phil has a show? But anyway, yeah, Crash was probably a little too self-important for its own good, but I liked it well enough. Of course, of the nominated films, those were the only two I’ve seen, so I can’t judge fairly. Really looking forward to Good Night, And Good Luck, though.

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