Two items about as unrelated as any two items could possibly be (like Sputnik and Cheez Wiz, for instance)

Hey, I'm one of Thursday's winners for Yet Another Comics Blog's Free Comic Book Month giveaway. Woot! I won the first issue of The Sandwalk Adventures, the book about Charles Darwin discussing evolutionary theory with a follicle mite living in his eyebrow. Odd concept, but it got great reviews and looks really cute. I always meant to get around to checking it out but never did, so I'm really looking forward to this. Thanks, David!

This doesn't exactly make up for not winning Powerball on Wednesday night, but I'll gladly take it just the same.

* * *

In other news, people really seem to be in an uproar over
that new Carl's Jr. TV ad featuring Paris Hilton, don't they? I saw the ad online the other day (we don't have Carl's Jr. in Rhode Island, and I was curious to see what all the furor was about), and I have to say, the real issue in my mind isn't the content of the ad, because there are actually a few positive aspects being overlooked here. First, given Ms. Hilton's reputation, it's actually pretty tame. She's just washing a car in an allegedly sexy manner and more or less fellating a sandwich; we should be thankful she isn't doing anything truly obscene with the sponge, a torque wrench and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, you know?

Second, it promotes the idea that Paris Hilton actually eats. Given the countless misguided teen girls who probably worship her and may go to dangerous lengths to look as waifish as she does, that's probably not a bad image to convey.

Third, and perhaps most importantly, in terms of actual content, it isn't any worse than a Whitesnake video. If society could withstand those without crumbling (and though it was an undoubtedly close call, we're all still here), the human race can persevere this time, too.

I think the real issue here is the ad just doesn't do it's job. In order for the concept to work on you, you need to find the woman attractive. I think she's pretty repellent, myself, as do most people I know, come to think of it. I honestly believe the reason a lot of people think she's sexy is because we're continually told that she is; I just don't get it. Anyway, it sure as hell doesn't make me want to eat a Carl's Jr. hamburger.

What does make me want to eat a Carl's Jr. hamburger is the burger itself. I mean, good lord, did you see that thing? Sweet Jebus, that looks like one huge, tasty burger. I thought the idea of a fast food chain selling burgers for $6 was pretty ridiculous at first, but I totally get it now. Carl's Jr., one day one of your burgers will reside briefly in my tummy, and that'll be a good day. And if you also sell Mr. Pibb, I just may have to move in.

I guess the idea behind this commercial is that we, the horny American public, are supposed to wish that we were the burger that Paris Hilton appears to be orally pleasuring. Maybe it's just me, maybe my priorities are way the hell out of whack, but honestly, I wish I was the person with the burger. If that means being Paris for a little while, so be it.

Just not when she's making home movies.

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