Thursday, January 27, 2011

Death be not proud, nor much of an impediment.

Rough week in the comic book world, huh? People and institutions alike dropping like flies. And yet, I can't worry too much about any of it. Why? Because it's comic books, people! Nothing stays dead for real (or for long) in Funny Book Land. Here, let's run down the list.

1. The Comics Code Authority

You can argue that the first nail was put in the Code's authority back when Marvel left in the early part of the aughts, but it was pretty toothless for a good, long time before that, so this was clinging by a thread for a long time, anyway, and it will still live on even amongst its biggest detractors in the form of ironic t-shirts.

2. Wizard magazine

Regardless of your opinion of the magazine, if you're a comics fan, I can pretty much guarantee you read it at least once (though probably more often, if you're being honest). It had it's ups and downs, but led to enough success to lead Gareb and company into publishing comics of their own and, eventually, buying up half the convention circuit, which will continue, as will the mag itself in online form allegedly, so I don't see Wizard going gentle into that good night just yet.

Still damn shitty to see so many people lose their jobs without warning, though.

3. The Human Torch

As Bully pointed out, someone is always dying in The Fantastic Four, so often that I sometimes wonder if maybe dead is their normal state, interrupted by intermittent periods of life. So Johnny's dead now, he's been dead before, he'll be dead again, but he's doing much better at plenty of other points in time.

Hey, maybe those cosmic rays made the FF into Tralfamdorians! Well, without making them look like toilet plungers, anyway.

4. Fitness guru and juice enthusiast Jack Lalanne

Oh, come on, Jack totally counts as a comic book character! He had muscles, wore that one red jumpsuit for years, and even was on "friendly wave and a smile at passing helicopter" terms with Batman and Robin, as seen in the opening scenes of Batman: The Movie.

Sure, Mr. Lalanne may be at a bigger disadvantage than the rest, seeing as he's a real person. But honestly, he never struck me as the sort of guy to let a little death slow him down. I mean, would you want to be the one to break the news to the guy? No, no you would not, because even in his 90s, he'd beat you to death and maybe even juice your remains.

Jack Lalanne, dead? I doubt it. Pining for the fjords, maybe, or even just tired and shagged out after a prolonged squawk, but I'm pretty sure the dude's immortal.*


*All of this is meant in fun, of course. Rest in peace, Mr. Lalanne.
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