Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Relive the humiliation in your own living room!


So I'm not sure how I feel about Wii Fit.

On the one hand, I'm exactly the sort of guy who could use something like this. I'm no danger to shipping or anything, but I'm not in great shape, either, and I hate the very idea of going to the gym because of A.) my deep-seeded hatred of gym people, and B.) my deep-seeded hatred of doing anything remotely athletic in the presence of other humans (I never claimed to not have issues, people). So in theory, this allows me the opportunity to help alter my sad state of fitness through the miracle of Hermitcise. And thankfully, some of the games are quite fun, making unique use of the Wii Balance Board and the additional (and unusual) efforts needed to play them.

But of course, there's a problem. And it's not the Wii Fit's over-reliance on Body Mass Index (BMI), which is apparently leading it to call more than a few athletic, well-muscled people overweight despite the mountains of evidence to the contrary. It's more of an attitude thing.

And not even mine, necessarily... it's Wii Fit's. The passive-aggressive chiding of the sim instructors. The Eddie Haskell-esque complimentary insults of the anthropomorphic Balance Board that shows up sometimes. The pixie-ish voice that sometimes says "Oh, my"
when you step onto the balance board. The utter despair your Mii sinks into when you rank poorly. It's all a bit much. They might as well have called it "Gym Class in a Box," because that's sure how it feels sometimes. And that's the sort of bullshit I've been happy to avoid since I graduated high school, thanks so much.

I'll keep using it for now - mostly out of guilt and the desire to get my money's worth out of the thing - but honestly, an aerial shot of my Mii sobbing alone in the middle of a soccer field doesn't exactly inspire me to do better next time. It just makes me want to return the thing to the store and exchange it for a different game I can play while sitting on my ass with the other slobs.
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