I'm the first to admit that cheesy, borderline-crass TV advertisements are one of life's great pleasures, but there's a new series of ads out there now that just drive me nuts. They're for a supposed hangover remedy called Chasers, and they're just so far out of whack that they leap well beyond the territory of "entertainingly misguided" and into the land of "the people this sort of thing would appeal to kind of frighten me a little." There are two I've seen thus far, one featuring a man and one a woman, and they both go a little something like this:
"You know, if there's one thing I really enjoy, it's going out every night and getting completely obliterated on that sweet, sweet booze. Hangovers are such a pain though, and really bring an evening of pleasant brain cell slaughter to an unhappy ending. But now, there's Chasers. You take these little red pills here before you start your night's hard drinking, and then you won't have a hangover the next day. Science rules! So anyway, I woke up this morning in the gutter, my hair caked with vomit, excrement and semen, wearing nothing but wooden clogs and 27 apparently stolen Medic Alert bracelets, all warning of peanut allergies. I have the names of 8 strangers tattooed on my ass, a Latvian passport, and the unsettling feeling that someone may have tried to copulate with my left nostril. But no hangover... thanks to Chasers!"
The actual words spoken differ a little, but the intent is definitely there. It's like an SNL parody, or one of those fake-out Geico ads... you keep expecting there to be a punchline, but it never arrives. Both commercials are just so lecherous - you know the guy would keep these things in the same pocket as his roofies, and the woman seems about 5 seconds away from proudly proclaiming herself as the village bicycle. Mom and Dad are so proud of you both, I'm sure. It's all so grimy, and unless the product being sold is soap, a commercial shouldn't make me think I need a shower. Scrub all you want, but you just can't wash away the evil.